i hate this feelin

adoi..kenapa? dah lama aku sembunyikan perasaan ni..its all been well for a moment..haha, lumrah alam semuanye berpasangan, walau macam mana lari pun, perasaan tu akan tetap ada..lama dah kot aku xpikir pasal perempuan ni, bukannye sebab aku dah jadi gay..haha (nauzubillah)..tapi i m moving on with my life and i know i am not ready yet..yeah, not ready for about 22 years...22years of my whole damn life..masa bulan puasa ni pulak la diuji. masa ni plak la hati aku terbukak balik..geli la plak nak cakap pasal hati dan perasaan ni..haha. tapi tiba2 lak terpikir2 pasal diorang.. diorang? macam banyak je bunyinye awek aku usha..haha, jadi stalker lagi aku. i dont know what to do, how to approach, should i? and the cycle goes on where at the end i will end up to not try and just be a stalker. single is fun, but for some reason, i m just a normal guy..and at my age, its not awkward to have someone special.. but it seems awkward to me as i cant do anything to change the facts.. its not a primary thing for now off course... so i guess someday i will...i will...AMIN